Sub Rosa

Sub rosa literally translates to ‘beneath the rose’. Some of you might have heard this before coming out of a recent piece of literature; in olden times, people will hand a rose outside their door to indicate that they require privacy (meaning what they are discussing is a secret), hence the meaning of sub rosa, a secret.

For those reading between my every line at the mention of the word ‘secret’, perhaps I have to disappoint you. I do not keep many secrets within myself, but most of them are guarded jealously by myself. But, one thing I can mention about my secrets is that they are mundane and few in number. This would be the part where I fervently hope none of you start digging around me in hopes of uncovering those secrets. Obviously, they are secrets for a reason.

I digress. Seriously, I am not even sure what I am trying to write into the columns of this blog. Most of the time, this is my emotional dump, and a quite effective one too, I may add. With my return back to Malaysia, I no longer have much to enter into the annals of this place. I still try to make it a point to update, but the times I do so have become fewer and further between.

Perhaps, I could start with a little confession. Of the seven cardinal sins, I am most guilty of the worst sin, and ironically, I am still proud of it. Maybe it is a symbol in my heart of my rebellion towards society, one thing in common between every teenager. My parents used to say; whatever you do, be the very best in it. Although I did not really take the advice to heart, but I feel myself subconsciously motivated by those words.

And from those words sprung many consequences I am living with at the current moment. Have I learnt my lesson then? That is an entirely different matter to say. I may have lived through hardships of my own making, but I still believe in myself to come out smelling like roses. The faith may have been shaken somewhat by numerous circumstances lately, but it will never die out. As one of my percepts in life, the day it dies out will probably be the day I become a different person.

For those that enjoy reading in between the lines, take heart. I probably left a nugget of information or two stashed somewhere. Perhaps one day, I could come back and hunt for them myself, and see how my thinking has changed since then. Till that moment, I will probably refrain from making any more deliberate leaking of information as is now.

P.S. For those that found this vague, you are staring at a clue in the face. Have fun.

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7 Comments »

  1. mediocre said

    There are two extremes for a blog—reader orientated or author orientated. If you prefer blogging to be something more personal then it is all right for your blog to be a dumping site for your negative emotion. (exactly like what I did in the past)

    Anyway, 7 cardinal sins O_o|| , and you are most guilty of the worst? Hey, sometimes I feel that you exaggerate a bit too much in your blog…

  2. eve. said

    btw, what *are* the seven cardinal sins?

    the worst sin i can think of is murder……….. and im pretty sure (though not entirely sure, who knows) that u havent killed someone before…….

  3. mediocre said

    Well….I don’t think it is murder. I think it is *kyar*

    (*Encrypted*) Chew, you know how to decrpt it right?

  4. fate said

    Not lust (kyar) either.. The seven cardinal sins can easily be found in wikipedia, if you bother to search for the list.. Although, interestingly, lust is one of them.. Unfortunately, it’s not the worst.. In fact, it’s the least sinful.. I do find it morbidly fascinating that mediocre thinks of me as a particularly lustful person, though.. Perhaps I would take eve up on the murder thing.. *evil smirk*

  5. mediocre said

    Erm…well, the reaction of the Christians on lust related issues give an impression that lust is the worst sins…I think for Buddhismn it is the worst sins, though I am not sure.

    Ah ha…anger is it?

  6. eve. said

    hmm.. well… from a certain point of view, lust shouldnt be a sin cuz it does create progeny (well, sometimes =D) and from an survival point of view, the more humans there are, the better

  7. Pompidou said

    Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation 🙂 Anyway … nice blog to visit.

    cheers, Pompidou

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