Vacation Inertia

Inertia, a physical concept which basically decribes the reluctance of a body to move from its present state. When we look around, however, we soon discover that inertia not only applies to masses but also to concepts we could not fathom and have no corporeal form; ideas, thoughts and emotions. People generally become comfortable within a certain situation and are unwilling to change from that comfort zone. Change is progress, but what is progress when you are not satisfied or happy? The greatest happiness for the greatest number, a Utilitarian principle, also an Economic assumption, without which, all our reverred economists will find their studies rendered useless. Progress does not fall within this greatest happiness category, no matter how much people say it does or how much we wish it to be. Should we turn these ideas and concepts all into a matrix game as Game Theory suggests, a very familiar situation will arise, so familiar, in fact, that it is completely unwholesome and uncomfortable to comprehend. Our situation is akin to the Prisoners’ Dilemma, where it is favourable for all of us to strive, but the best outcome (according to Economic and Utilitarian principles anyway) is when we all slack.

I am digressing… Truth is, today is the day I return back to Singapore. My mind is mostly in a state of turmoil, unwilling to submit back to the rigid control of deadlines which have become many times tighter compared to my JC1 year. As such, my mood is also affected, and I try my best to supress those negative feelings that try to surface. Funny thing is, this situation has allowed me to reminisce on my younger days. In those times, I had to force my emotions out, like I had to make myself to laugh when I found something was funny, and make myself angry when something bad happens. Why I did so, you ask? Probably as a way of emulating what the adults do; because of a reason that I no longer find logical, but one I probably found to be very applicable then.

And I sit and wonder, did I have more control over my emotions then? Was it because the pathways of my emotions; how we were supposed to react to situations are so well travelled now that we automatically react to some event emotionally, instead of assigning an emotion to an event which is what i vaguely recall doing when I was younger? I remember smiling because my parents asked me too; I remember pretending I did not understand what people told me when in truth I did, just because I did not feel like complying to what was asked of me. But what I do not recall is the period where I had no memory of, the transition between toddlerhood and childhood.

Another interesting point to note is that I only remembered these memories and emotions because of a dream I had a couple of nights ago, on some very disturbing incidences. How those disturbing incidences gave rise to my supressed or forgotten childhood memories, I would never know. But I know this, it returned after that dream. Could it be then, that the memories which I am claiming now are but fragments of a dream, in which, of course, I retain my mental faculties which I possess now? Is it possible that dreams could supplant real memories, and render them real to you? If so, perhaps we are all just a construct of our dreams instead of our experiences. Because in this case, it is not so much what experience we had that shaped our being, but what occurred in our mind when we entered REM. What occurs in our REM dreams may be dependent, but may also be independent of our experiences.

Should I discount empiricism then? Maybe only on account of our personality. For it has been known that similar events could affect people in vastly different ways. Curiously, a talk on vacational inertia had brought forth a discourse on the nature of our personality. Suddenly, I have a phang wishing that I slip into a similar state of mind as well for my KI papers, which sadly, normally does not occur and leaves me in frustration and deliberation over what to discuss in the essay. I will just endoff this entry with one word: ‘spontaneousness’.


1 Comment »

  1. eve said

    coolll, ur commentboxthing spellchecks!!!

    (ive 100% redunderlines)

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